What is Successful Aging? with Star Bradbury

Join Kosta and his guest: Star Bradbury, Aging Life Care Specialist, Founder of Senior Living Strategies, and Author of Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years.

In this episode: What’s normally the most overlooked or misunderstood aspect of aging for your clients? What does aging successfully really look like? How can we measure if we're reaching the goals and checkpoints of a successful aging plan? Is there a difference between what we think we want and what we actually want as we get older? What does that differentiation usually look like?

Find out more about Star Bradbury:
https://starbradbury.com/

Purchase Star's book Successfully Navigating Your Parents’ Senior Years:
https://a.co/d/h6QirfV

Find out more about Kosta:
https://kostayepifantsev.com/

Transcript

Star Bradbury: 0:05

For a lot of people, they get to a point in their life at some time where they say, this just isn't enough anymore. What I thought I wanted to do in my retirement, and they have to reinvent themselves. The people that age successfully Kosta are willing to be honest with themselves and reinvent themselves and find something new to bring themselves joy. And for a lot of people, it's paying it forward. It's finding some way to give back.

Caroline Moore: 0:39

Welcome to Now or Never Long-Term Care Strategy making. themselves. with Kosta Yepifantsev a podcast for all those seeking answers and solutions in the long term care space. This podcast is designed to create resources, start conversations and bring awareness to the industry that will inevitably impact all Americans. Here's your host Kosta Yepifantsev.

Kosta Yepifantsev: 1:01

Hey, y'all, it's Kosta. Today, I'm here with my guest, Star Bradbury, aging Life Care Specialist, founder of senior living strategies, and author of successfully navigating your parents senior years star over the past 25 years, you've helped 1000s of families navigate Senior Living and care. I want to start this episode with a personal question for you and the title of our episode. What does aging successfully mean to you?

Star Bradbury: 1:31

Well, first of all, thank you for having me on your podcast. It's obviously a topic I am passionate about, and wrote an entire book about. So it was a little confronting when I had to sort of stop and say, Well, what does it mean to me, personally, but I don't I'm no different than anybody else. I mean, I want to reassure your your viewers that I follow my own advice. And I think that's important. So what do I think it means to age successfully, I would have to sum it up by saying, developing a plan, a solid plan, but a plan that's well thought out, that addresses the challenges that you will inevitably inevitably face as you get older. But it has to be flexible, and resilient. And as simple as that sounds based on my 24 years in senior living, it is not as simple as it sounds, and a lot of people fail to really make a very strong plan and look at what let's call it the buckets are the pillars. I have five pillars, we'll get to that, that you can look at when you're trying to assess whether you have a good plan and if it's flexible enough,

Kosta Yepifantsev: 2:49

did you decide to write this book from personal experience? Was it a was it just because you worked in the industry for so long that you saw

Star Bradbury: 2:58

no, no, no, I have so much personal experience and and I sadly, although I you can tell that I have a bit of a sense of humor here. Of course, sadly, I will say I learned just as much about what not to do, and what doesn't work from my personal experience, in some ways, even more than my professional experience Kosta? My parents divorced when I was fairly young in my teens and remarried. So I had a stepmom and a stepdad, my father and stepmom lived in New York City, not exactly a friendly place to age in, by the way. And my other set of parents my mom and stepdad lived in Fort Lauderdale six, seven hours away from me. And I watched them make decisions and let's throw in my, my husband's parents too. And I was so I watched family members and loved ones make decisions that in some cases were disastrous, really, truly sad and did not have the outcome and preventable and also some mistakes I personally made. Let's not leave me out of it. Okay, you know, looking, looking back, I look at some of the things that I really could have done, that would have made a difference. For example, let me just, you know, throw myself out. Sure. I, in my in my chapter on long distance caregiving. I have a long list of things that I wish I'd known could have done myself since I was so far away from my father. And one of those would be get to know the neighbors, get their information, get their phone numbers, have a list of the support team that exists or doesn't. Okay, for your loved ones, your parents that might be in another state. So I had a lot of personal experience. I mean I include a lot of those stories in the book. And I'm sure people go really could all of these things happen to this author? Oh, yes. And I could have written a lot more I mean, stepfather Baker Acted and the Unite

Kosta Yepifantsev: 5:15

I am I am sure that people who are either thinking very hard about this topic or are in this topic, which I know, reading your book, once you're in crisis is kind of too late. But I'm sure that there's a lot of people that read it and resonate with the detailed approach that you take. And we talk a little bit about, obviously, the length of your book, and how comprehensive it is, you know, and I think that's important. It matters.

Star Bradbury: 5:46

So start, because it's a long arc.

Kosta Yepifantsev: 5:49

Yeah, right. So start, one of my favorite sayings in business and life is if you can't measure it, you can't manage it. What are a few measurable ways we can gauge how well we're planning for our life after 65? and evaluate if we're on the right track?

Star Bradbury: 6:07

Also a great question. And I think it really helps to have something to measure against. And I talk about something that I refer to when I sit down with families, and my niche is helping people to plan to age successfully. I say, let's look at what I call the five pillars of aging successfully. And the first question, the first pillar, the first question is, where do you want where literally, where do you want to age for example, 90% of people 65. And over, it's probably even higher, say, Well, I want to age in place. And what I always say, making a statement cluster, like I'm going to just age in place, which means staying in your home, that means I'm going to just stay in my I tell people, that is a statement. That is not a plan. There's a lot of planning that needs to go into aging well and successfully in your home. So that's pillar number one. And under that is sort of location, location, location, the second part of my book, are you going to age in place? Are you thinking about moving? And if you are going to move? What would what would a solid criteria be that you've checklists that would help you evaluate whether the decision to move was a met all that met all the pluses for a Livable City for seniors are closer to good health care? Or closer to an adult child? Whose is I'd like to say willing, able and capable of being on your support team? Yes. Okay. Maybe they are? Maybe they're not. So that's, that's a big pillar. Where am I going to age? And the criteria for that has to be what's going to allow me to have that support team I need and to be as independent for the longest possible time. pillar number two is a little quicker to explain. It's do I have all the critical medical documents in place that I need? Now most people think, Oh, you mean, like a living will? And health care surrogate? Yes, absolutely. And I don't think you'll be surprised to know how many people have not completed advanced directives. But there's a host of other documents and things to think about under that heading that pillar of medical. The third pillar, Costa is legal. No surprise there. Have you done a will? Have you done a trust? Have you appointed your power of attorney? Are all of your legal documents, and under legal documents and legal affairs? There's a long list of things too, that you should look at like insurance policies, or long term care insurance policies, or survivor benefits, or a did your parents do any? Were they veterans? Are there benefits that you would know nothing about? You should inform yourself about all of those kinds of information before a crisis. The fourth one is really important. And I know you've done shows on this, how am I going to pay for long term care? Oh, yeah, how am I going to pay for long term care if I need it, whether it's home care, you are in the business, you know, this assisted living, skilled nursing. And the fifth pillar is and I think this is so critical. How am I going to stay engaged in life connected to my community connected to my family, so I not isolated and lonely? What is my what I say is what is your purpose and passion that's going to keep you getting up every day and engaged in life? So those are my five pillars and I could go on but I thought if I better start, six might be Too many,

Kosta Yepifantsev: 10:01

well, you know, star, we're going to talk about your book successfully navigating your parents senior years quite a bit in this episode. So please, it's totally okay to spend as much time as we need to. For anyone that hasn't read it, it's broken into four parts, develop a plan, location, where when your parents need more help, and a prepared exit plan. Let's talk about that last part, because I think so many people are scared to address it. What is a good exit plan?

Star Bradbury: 10:35

Well, this is always a hard topic to bring up. Because as as you know, people are afraid to talk about this on every level, everything from I don't know if I can talk to my parents about if they've done a living will. This is even harder. Because now you're talking about an exit plan. You're facing death, you're facing your own mortality, you're facing the dying process. And if we could check, as I like to say, go check the box cost of that said, I want to live to 98. I want to be 100%. Strong mentally and physically. And then I'm going to check the box that says I get to die in my sleep peacefully, never wake up, right? No problems, no issues, no medical can tweet all check that box. But that is not the statistics. And for the number of people, Costa who say, Well, of course I want to die at home, I want to be surrounded by my family, I want this peaceful space. I want to have the music playing that I want. Or somebody's singing or reading my spiritual readings. But that is not what happens. You know that anyone in healthcare knows there's a huge percent of people that die in the hospital. So I think one of the things to really ask yourself, or ask your loved ones is, what is a good death? How would you plan for a good death? We do all this planning Costa. We plan when we have babies, we plan our marriages, we plan our retirement. But we don't really think about death as a time where we could plan and the planning has to be prior to the event itself that has to do with the decisions you make along the way as your medical options, your medical choices, do you really want to do one more surgery? Do you really want to add one more chemo? round of chemo? I'd like to tell people that a good exit plan focuses on quality of life first, and treatment. Second,

Kosta Yepifantsev: 12:52

can I ask you kind of a controversial question? I think it's important because there are so many people out there that are wrestling with this issue. What if you're one of those people in America or even in the world that say, I don't want to take care of my parents when they get older? I mean, what do you say to those types of entities,

Star Bradbury: 13:20

and I talk about that in the book, I really, really encourage people to never, ever agree to a plan. You know, you can't do you know, your whatever the reason is, whether it's time constraints, financial constraints, emotional abuse, as a child from parents, you barely talk to or whatever your situation is, I'd like to tell people who are listening, they can still be helpful. From a distance, they need to set their boundaries about what they can do. And I tell people, their own health, their own mental health, or physical health does not need to be put on the stake. Because they're, you know, they feel compelled to take care of their parents if they absolutely can't. However, having said that, you know, I, I have worked with so many families literally 1000s. And it's very sad to me when I see a strange moment that isn't healed before death. And I say that partly because of the aftermath. Meaning the adult child's still living that never repaired things on any level whatsoever with their deceased parent, and then they've missed any opportunity. So I sort of I know I'm hedging my bets here, but there are situations where somebody just cannot do that. They cannot be the caregiver. And I don't have any judgment personally about that. When I consult with families in that situation. We'll find ways to provide assist To help without that direct hands on care, I would also say try to heal on some level, because you're the one that will pay for it after they're gone. That's my personal experience. And my professional observation.

Kosta Yepifantsev: 15:15

That is great advice. Now, when you're working with families, especially in the beginning, what's normally the most overlooked or misunderstood aspect of aging for your clients?

Star Bradbury: 15:29

I love love this question. Well, I like to sort of help people understand what they might be facing by describing in my book, sort of the stages of retirement. And I credit a friend for this because I just love it. I talk about the gogo years, the slow go years, and the no go years. And one of the biggest mistakes is that adult children see their parents after they've retired. And they're like, oh, my gosh, I don't even I can't even keep up with them. They're traveling hither and yon. They're all over the place. They they're busier than they were when they're working. Oh, they're doing great. And so they don't anticipate that they're going to transition at some point out of the gogo years into the slow go years or the no go years. And nobody says that you can't go straight from gogo to no go. Right. So people will tell me, Oh, my dad was golfing five times last. Just last week. How could you have gone downhill so fast? That I just never saw it coming? Well, I like to tell people that are trying to prepare themselves. It is not if Costa, it is not if your parents are going to need help. If they're lucky enough to live long enough. The really it's the when When are your parents going to need help? To what degree are what what, how are you going to be able to support them? And that's one of the things that people overlook. And the other one that I just have to throw in here is everyone underestimates the cost of long term care. They're so confused. You know yourself. You've had the family say, but I thought Medicare paid for home care. I thought Medicare paid for assisted living, doesn't it papers? I thought Medicare doesn't cover skilled nursing and the answer is no. No. and No. Yep. And they don't know what it costs. So I want to tell people who are wondering, go look up Google or whoever your search engine is the Genworth cost of care survey. Genworth is a big big insurance company, they do this national survey, that's surveying the costs across the United States, you can go to the Genworth cost of care survey, put in your zip code, and it will show you the cost in your area, which is drastically different from state to state can be for home care, home health care, assisted living, skilled nursing, you name it, they're gonna give you the median cost in your area. And the best thing cost is they have a calculator, that's, I always tell people sit down, sit down before you play with that calculator, that projects future costs. And you can go to 2050 2060 and see what you might be paying as the adult child when you are at, it will get your attention. And

Kosta Yepifantsev: 18:27

I think what people don't recognize, is as like, as labor prices go up. So as people get paid, you know, higher wages to work and fast food if people get paid higher wages to work and retail people get higher wages to work in manufacturing, and whatever it might be. I mean, caregiving is and that caregiving agencies, they're not like a unicorn, you know, they just always keep their prices at, you know, affordable rates. And yeah, at some point, and I will say that we are in a very precarious position right now. Now, I'm not I'm not gonna try not to go off topic here. But we're in a very precarious position right now. Because we are, we have almost priced ourselves out of reach for a lot of Americans. If not, if not most of Americans. And, and that is a scary proposition for a lot of families. Because I'll tell you like in the next six or seven years, we're going to have more people that need long term care may, even in the next three years, to be totally honest with you, the baby boomers are crying well, and they, the Silversea tell you, you know, so the statistics behind it. I've said this a number of times on the show, there's two things that you said that I want to say I just want to repeat number one, Medicare doesn't pay for long term care. So we just need to say that because that's a mantra on our show, or assisted assisted living or nursing home stays more than 100 days. So now that we got that out of the way The second thing is as individuals between that were born between the age started between the years of 1946 and 1964, the baby boomer generation is the second largest population subset in the United States. And it's only behind Millennials by like a couple million people. So it might as well be the largest or close are tied as, as the largest when you turn 75, between 75 and end of life, and that can range for differently for most people, but you have about an 80% chance of needing long term care. So it's an inevitability. And the first baby boomer that was born in 1946, turned 75, in 2021. So we're in it, you know, and so I think that people, yeah, exactly. And people really need to understand that if they're not considering this planning, this long term care planning, that they are going to find themselves. Like you said, my dad was playing golf five days a week, last week, and he had a serious medical event. And now he needs significant care. Right. So

Star Bradbury: 21:10

and that is, that is so why I'm so I was so compelled to write this book, to really help people understand the consequences of no plan, then you start to lose. Now you're making ill informed uneducated decisions. Half the people I've talked to don't even understand the difference between home care and home health care, and who pays, I address that in the book, they don't understand assisted living, or who would be accepted or not accepted into assisted living, and what kind of licensing might be absolutely critical to their parents future or to not having to move their parent again. And really, honestly, I don't expect people to know. But I do expect people to accept that they can educate themselves ahead of an inevitable crisis and curveball and be far more prepared to both advise or jump in if needed, or sit down and have these kinds of conversations way, way ahead of time. Rick, was much earlier than you might think.

Kosta Yepifantsev: 22:16

Do you think there is a difference between what we think we want and what we actually want as we get older? And what does that differentiation usually look like?

Star Bradbury: 22:30

I do think there's a difference. And I don't know that you would be aware of this unless you've been in senior living for 25 years. So in that timeframe, I've watched, as I said, 1000s of families make decisions, and make plans or not make plans and what those consequences are. But if you ask me, What's the difference between what people think they want? And then what they actually discover when they're in that aging process? I can't tell you Costa the number of times I've had people say, Well, after golfing for 10 years, I'm sick of it. And I never thought I'd say that. I thought when I retired, I would was so excited about golfing, or tennis or pickleball or traveling or something that they that they thought they'd never that gave them so much joy doesn't cut it anymore. And so that's that's why pillar number five is what is your passion, what kind of legacy and for a lot of people, they get to a point in their life at some time where they say, this just isn't enough anymore. What I thought I wanted to do in my retirement, and they have to reinvent themselves. The people that age successfully Kosta are willing to be honest with themselves and reinvent themselves and find something new to bring themselves joy. And for a lot of people, it's paying it forward. It's finding some way to give back. It's volunteering somewhere in your community. It's making a difference. Maybe it's to children going to school and reading to children or maybe it's the homeless or maybe it's your place of worship some organization within your church or synagogue or your mosque or maybe it's but it's it's reassessing your values in this post retirement phase. Does that make

Kosta Yepifantsev: 24:38

does and I'll tell you what's interesting when you say legacy? I think it's more about legacy and and honestly than anything else in terms of purpose in terms of fulfillment. I think that we have superpowers at every stage in life. And and I don't mean And I don't necessarily mean to stereotype. You know, I know that obviously, like you were saying, before we started the show, the largest demographic in the United States at this time are people that is growing is our people between the ages of 90 and 100. So 90, and we've met some 100 year year olds that are, you know, still kick in, and they're still in the gogo phase. Right,

Star Bradbury: 25:27

I have seen it, and it's awe inspiring, actually.

Kosta Yepifantsev: 25:31

And so I, you know, I think that, like, you need to embrace what you bring to society. And so a lot of people when they look at retirement, I am obviously a little a little ways away from retirement. So I'm not going to feed into my bad habit of telling people that are in retirement, what retirement is about. But I'm just saying in terms of my perspective, I would say that we are never done giving back to society, and we do our best work and live our best lives, when we're giving back. And when we are essentially using our superpower. And that's essentially what you just described. So

Star Bradbury: 26:11

I really believe that, and I've watched it. I've watched it for many years, as I worked in senior living. So I worked in one of the top life care communities in the country for 18 years, I ran an assisted living facility, I ran a memory care facility. I had, I had the opportunity to watch a lot of families a lot of situations. And I was keenly interested in what is this factor? What are the factors that go into aging successfully? It's a willingness to reinvent yourself, and and we reconnect to your values and live them

Kosta Yepifantsev: 26:53

start independence and maintaining independence is one of the greatest goals of everyday success for anyone getting older. What's your best advice for someone seeking to maintain that independence as they age?

Star Bradbury: 27:08

Well, in my book, I discussed two principles, caster principles that you can apply no matter what age you are, but certainly as a baby boomer, or certainly as you're aging, and also a principle that families can use to help loved ones and their parents. And that principle is how can I maintain and prolong my independence for the longest possible time, and to use that principle, truly as your as your foundation, and your framework to making decisions. And then principle number two, is what I call just in time Senior Planning, which is, don't burden yourself with trying to make a plan for 10 years, it's going to look very different when you're 70, or 80, or 90, but trying to plan for 10 years out is just a poor use of your resources, whether they're financial or emotional, right, stick to a three to five year window as you're planning. But like with the Japanese, just in time inventory control concept that was very popularized. I took that term from them, it implies what's called continuous improvement. So if I were to say what the key things are to maintaining independence, number one, stay flexible. Number two, be ruthlessly honest with yourself and your partner or your spouse. Number three, keep applying principle number one, what can I do to maintain and it may not be staying in your home Kosta? You may have said I am I am aging in place. I'm never leaving my home. I have a client named Sharon who's 93. And she said that I'm not leaving my home. This is where I'm going to stay. And then at 93 she realized her home was taking up too much time. It was taking up too much money. She said I think it's time for me to invest in myself instead of maintaining my own. I need more help. But I'm not ready to move closer to family. And she was brave enough flexible enough ruthlessly honest with herself. After saying I will never leave my home she moved into a full service retirement community a fabulous community that provided the support she needed to maintain her independence. No more shopping all her meals transportation provided 24 hour security home care on site if she needed it. Now this was independent living. So you see how applying that principle could be used in so many situations. So many different situations. Like let's let's take this situation. What if you had a A mom or dad who had dementia, and you knew it was going to be progressive. And they were getting worse. And someone who said we have to leave them at home, I don't want to move them. And then you also see that's not working. Maybe mom is now wandering at 3am. Dad is exhausted taken care of mom, and you have to be flexible. You have to be honest, you have to step back and say, what decisions can we make that will maximize independence for the caregiver dad, who's going to end up in the hospital if he keeps trying to take care of mom? And how can we support mom is her progression, her dementia progresses? Well, again, if you're maintaining independence for those two people, Kosta it might be time to consider memory care facility that's going to provide mom with that care, let dad get some sleep at night, and see as much as possible or live nearby, or live in an independent living in the same community that offers memory care to, so you have to be flexible. You just can't get through these challenges and curveballs without it.

Kosta Yepifantsev: 31:08

So here's the million dollar question. Why do we avoid the topic of ageing so aggressively? And what can we do to normalize getting old?

Star Bradbury: 31:20

Well, you know, I think it's a straight line. From why do we avoid this topic. And the straight line is to fear of death, fear of dying fear of getting, and some people have said, it's not dying, I'm afraid of its illness in capacity, physical limitations, pain. So it's really understandable when you put it in that context. Nobody wants to become infirm. Nobody wants to lose their independence. So I have great compassion for anybody that's experiencing that or feeling that because it's real. There's, you know, like I said, we're apt to have some challenges along the way. And because we don't know, you know, we can't go get our palms read, and nobody's going to tell us, you know exactly what's going to happen. But you also need to be a realistic optimist. That's the term I describe myself, where you're realistic about what you're going to face. And try to plan for some of those events so that you have more choices, more options for yourself. But I have good news for you, though. We'll wait. I want you to know

Kosta Yepifantsev: 32:35

you have a question? No, no, please go ahead, finish. Okay.

Star Bradbury: 32:38

My good news is that there's a tremendous movement in the aging industry nationally today, to change how we look at aging. I've been getting an online newsletter called ending ageism, together, changing the narrative. And I love it. There's all kinds of ideas and workshops on there called How to be an anti aging social media influencer, or how corporations and businesses can change how they portray older people and change this negative attitude towards ageism. And there's a wonderful book I want to mention that I read that I wrote about on my blog, and it's Dr. Rebecca Levy. And her book is called breaking the age code ditch. Have you read haven't read it before? That's wonderful. Oh, I want to encourage you to read it because she says that, quote, the data about how your beliefs about aging determine how long and how well you will live. Many of the health problems formerly considered to be entirely due to aging, such as memory loss, hearing decline, and even cardiovascular events are instead influenced by negative age beliefs that dominate the United States. And the data in countries where wisdom is celebrated and Rivard would then the data is quite different. So it's powerful, how you feel about yourself as you age, what our culture tells us about older people is a powerful, powerful influence.

Kosta Yepifantsev: 34:18

I think a lot of people don't realize, and you said how important it is to be optimistic. And we've obviously touched on at length, how important it is to be prepared. What a lot of people don't realize is and I just heard this statistic the other day, so maybe rather shocking, I'm sure you know it but they're the one of the very sad points of aging and people over the age of 65 is the suicide rate within that population subset. It is a very it's scary to To the degree that people have sort of said, I don't want this, I don't want to become a burden. And we've pushed, right. And we've pushed this narrative as a society, like our parents are becoming our burdens. And it is, you know, it's obviously people that are in their younger years and people in their older years. And when I say younger, I mean under the age of 35, but that are having these suicidal situations occur. And I feel like like you said, it's because we've created this narrative that's putting people in an untenable position, and they have nowhere to go. And so we need to, we need to take that box that we've put them in and in, literally take all the walls off and take it away and give people the dignity that they deserve and give it back to them.

Star Bradbury: 35:51

Well, that goes back to pillar number five, how can I stay engaged and connected in my community, and what is my purpose and passions, because when people think about killing themselves, they have lost that they don't feel connected. And COVID taught us how deadly truly deadly isolation, and loneliness, and those percent of people who are feeling even young people, which makes me so sad, isolated and lonely, they're not connected. And so what I when I sit down with families, I will say, Now, keep in mind, as you're making this plan to age successfully, and trying to maintain your independence, for the longest possible time, if you know that staying socially connected, is critical to your physical and mental health. Do you think it's a good idea to stay in your home 20 miles out of town, living all by yourself, no matter how gorgeous your home is, no matter how beautiful it is, if you're alone, and I just helped a gentleman figure out that he was depressed and lonely, his his wife had died eight years ago, he had a beautiful home. But he recognized that he was not going to be able to stay there and be healthy and independent. And he moved to a community that provided friends and activities is Life is a compromised caster. I don't tell people, they're not going to miss their home. But that home can be a prison. And I have seen that when I had to go in and do assessments for people moving into assisted living, lonely people in beautiful homes, disconnected from family and community. It's more important, a community can add contribute more to your health than then even doctors can at times,

Kosta Yepifantsev: 37:49

we always like to end the show with a call to action. If you had to start the process of Senior Planning for a parent today. What would you do first?

Star Bradbury: 38:02

Well, I know this sounds really self serving. But the first thing I would say is go buy my book and read the book as a guide. Don't if you think oh, I don't need this for 10 years. Don't wait. And if you're a senior, yourself listening, I've had lots of people say you know what, I'm buying one for myself. And I'm buying books for my kids. And then we're going to plan a zoom call. Because as I like to say these conversations, the one thing I would say, have to start early. That's the one thing I would say, don't wait. So people say well, what's the perfect time when your parents are in their 60s, long before they even retired? And the beauty about that is it gives people an opportunity to do a lot of listening. A lot of soft questions. You're not saying have you done a will? Have you done living? Well? What about this good death thing? You're not starting there? Costa? You were like years before any of those conversations potentially. Ideally, you're saying things like, Hey, I wonder are you going to stay in Cookeville when you retire? Are you thinking about moving to Florida? Closer to in your your sister, your brother? What are you thinking about doing? Oh, you want to stay and age in place? You know, I'm a little worried about that mom, because all the bedrooms and bathrooms are up two flights of stairs, and there's no bedroom or bathroom on the bottom floor? It could maybe we could remodel that, you know or build a mother in law suite? Or what about a tiny house option. You know, there's all kinds of ways to have fun talking about things long before there's a crisis. Because guess what Kosta people are not more willing as they get older to have these conversations. The time to have them are when there's zero crisis, zero diagnoses, zero emergencies lots of time like why imaginary family dispensers that go through weaved through the whole book about how they deal with making a plan and unexpected curveballs. So yeah, start the conversation early.

Caroline Moore: 40:12

Thank you for joining us on this episode of Now or Never Long-Term Care Strategy with Kosta Yepifantsev.If you enjoyed listening and you wanna hear more make sure you subscribe on Apple podcast Spotify or wherever you find your Podcasts,leave us a review or better yet share this episode with a friend. Now or Never Long-Term Care Strategy is a Kosta Yepifantsev production.Today’s episode was written and produced by Morgan Franklin. Want to find out more about Kosta? Visit us at kostayepifantsev.com